


Shower

by BloodyAbattoir



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Introspection, Mild Blood, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26714308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyAbattoir/pseuds/BloodyAbattoir
Summary: There are jobs you shower before doing, and jobs that you shower after doing.





	Shower

There are some jobs that you shower before doing, and some jobs that you shower after doing. The Winter Soldier knows this all too well, having worked almost exclusively with the latter of the two. 

For Bucky Barnes, however, today was supposed to fall strictly into the first category. It was intended to be a simple job, one so simple that a new recruit could've done it - collect a key witness and take him to court before moving him to a new safehouse. While not his standard fare, it was something he'd done dozens of times since being uneasily welcomed into the Avengers, something short and sweet, as opposed to the weeks-long missions Steve worked. 

Instead, it was nothing of the sort. He'd sensed something was off about the crowd gathered in front of the courthouse - they were too still, too quiet, as if waiting for something, or rather, someone. It'd spooked him, sending him into the side entrance closed to the general public. He realized it was a trap when a half-dozen armed goons materialized, rushing the car with guns drawn. 

Before they'd had a chance to do more than fire a few rounds each, reflex had taken over, and by the time the dust settled, Bucky was surrounded by dead bodies and covered in bloodspray, murderous intent in his eyes. 

From this point, things followed a new routine, one only followed when things went catastrophically wrong, as they did now - call Fury to send a cleanup crew, then get the witness, shaken but mercifully unharmed, to a secure location before returning to the tower and debriefing. The moment that the meeting was concluded and his report was given, he'd made a beeline back to the floor he shared with Steve, intent on nothing more than showering, washing away the grime and blood he was caked in. 

Now, he was huddled in the bathroom as thick clouds of steam choked the air. Water that was practically boiling poured down on him, turning his skin pink. The bands of scartissue around his metal arm were slowly turning an angry purplish-red, while his flesh fingers were slowly starting to wrinkle as he bemoaned his fate. Even when he desperately wanted to stop, wanted to step away from the killing, wanted the only thing he would ever was away to be soap and sweat, he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.

He swallowed a bitter laugh - he bet Steve didn't have to deal with this. Hell, none of the other Avengers, aside from maybe Natasha, understood what he was going through. To them, washing away the blood was a sign of a hard days work, a _good_ days work. After all, what was the price of a dead man to them when it was the cost of saving hundreds, or even thousands of lives? 

Was this truly all he was destined for? To stop killing for one organization, only to pick up his guns and kill in the name of another organization? The only difference here was now, he killed of his own 'free will', if he could even consider it as such, without having his memory wiped after each 'mission'. Perhaps he should simply be grateful that he was allowed to wash himself, sit under the warm water, instead of being hosed down with frigid water and being scrubbed like a farm animal. 

Bucky tipped his head back, resting it against the warm tile behind him. No one was screaming at him to get out of the shower, and the hot water didn't seem like it was going to run out any time soon. He could easily, gladly stay here for another hour or three ~~or the rest of his life.~~ He doubted anyone would mind. 


End file.
